THE FIRST WORLD WAR
It was December 24, 1914, the first world war had already started. My house had been invaded. My mother and father had been captured. It's just me and my sister Penelipy for now. we moved into a n house.
"Hey Pen!" I shouted.
"How are we supposed to hide all of our luggage?"
"Ask Mr.Winston."
"Ok"
"Mr.Winston!" I shouted.
"Yes Jermey."
"Where should we hide all of this?"
"Put some stuff in your room."
"But where would we hide it all?"
"IN YOUR ROOM!"
"ok"
oh gosh the enemy is attacking, ahhh...
"Ask Mr.Winston."
"Ok"
"Mr.Winston!" I shouted.
"Yes Jermey."
"Where should we hide all of this?"
"Put some stuff in your room."
"But where would we hide it all?"
"IN YOUR ROOM!"
"ok"
oh gosh the enemy is attacking, ahhh...
Your story starts of very interesting but it does not have a strong ending. You are getting the hang of using quotation marks. Work on have a message or a purpose for the ending of your story.
ReplyDelete